Why Your Emotions Are Running Your Spending (And What To Do About It)
The relationship between money and emotions isn't an accident. It's a feature. Consumption culture has spent decades studying exactly how you feel and building systems designed to exploit it.
This isn't about being smarter with money. It's about understanding what's actually driving the bus.
Our emotional state can influence our consumption patterns, what we are drawn to and the feeling, hoever brief, we receive once we have purchased something.
You might value reducing your footprint, and then suddenly you find yourself in some unnamed retailer picking up the latest cute trend. You are not alone - this is by design. And if you have always wanted a corn on the cob stool with a melting butter pillow - no shame AND your values and your goals might want something different.
I'm here to share something you can try to become more present to your emotions and respond to them differently. The result might be the same, however the process of how you got there changes.
Notice your emotions
Start with your emotions in the moment. Are you looking for a hit of dopamine and doing something pleasurable? You may be feeling lonely, and going out to buy that thing feels less isolating. Or having the latest thing that everyone is talking about connects you to others.
Categorise your spending based on different emotions - using an emoticon, colour, or something creative. What feeling comes up more often? Where do you find yourself returning to in response to that feeling?
Remember, this isn’t to track every single thing or to judge yourself for your feelings. They are feelings, and we respond to them in a multitude of ways. What happens when we start to turn down the shame about those feelings?
Reduce the shame, increase the discernment.
This is the Trauma of Money tagline. Shaming yourself into behaving a certain way is not going to be a long-term strategy. Also, many of us could use less shame around finances and money - save it for the billionaires.
Offer yourself some compassion when things do not go as expected. You may notice feelings of shame when your financial strategy goes sideways or the unknown stops by, leaving you feeling scarcity.
Here are a few statements to give you an idea…
“I am proud of what I did save this month, and I can revisit what makes sense for me going forward.”
“Living in a world that is increasingly more expensive, it makes sense that I feel scarcity.”
Get curious
What we do on a small scale in our own daily lives and within our close community connects back to the larger structures. Where do you find yourself feeling more shame around money? How do you want to be in relationship to money?
Also, get curious about who benefits from our silence around the topic of money? What does abundance mean and for whom?
Who benefits from our feelings of inferiority or scarcity?
Who continues to benefit when we believe that our financial well-being is only the responsibility of the individual?
Let’s not pretend that we are in a world without huge wealth inequity. People are struggling, and we need a robust social net. You also deserve the space to make decisions that align with your values and community. Taking the time to understand your emotions and the influence of consumption culture and endless capitalism is an essential part of the picture.
Money stuff is rarely just about money. If you're ready to explore what's underneath — the shame, the scarcity, the patterns that keep repeating — I'm here for that conversation.
Book a free consultation. No pressure, just a chat.
